The Science Behind Self-criticism and It’s Impact on Mental Health
Self-criticism is an art, not a science. It’s about becoming your own best friend, not your own worst enemy.
Even when I think about moments when I accomplish something, I always tell myself I got lucky… that anyone could have done it.
If you also sometimes struggle with self-criticism, then you know it is not an easy habit to overcome. We can’t simply suppress or shut down the critic!
However, it is important to remember that we have control over our mental space. This means we can learn to make our minds a more positive place to be.
What Is Self-Criticism?
A self-critical person tends to evaluate themselves and their actions very harshly, focusing on their weaknesses, shortcomings, and mistakes.
More of a personality trait, so some people are more self-critical than others.
But if you think about it, to some degree I think we’re all our own worst critics. We’re so used to being in our own heads, that we may not even realize how self-critical we are. Try paying attention to the kinds of thoughts you have. You may find you are harder on yourself than you think.
More common among those who have Perfectionism, those who have a fear of failure, rejection, or guilt, and those who are goal/achievement-oriented.
Consequences Of Self-Criticism
Self-criticism is sometimes positive, allowing us to foster personal growth.
- We can acknowledge our mistakes and failures and learn from them.
- We can cultivate more humility.
- We can overcome or change unwanted habits or weaknesses.
However, most of the time self-criticism is harmful
- It can prevent us from taking positive risks, being vocal about our opinions, and believing in ourselves.
- We blame ourselves for every negative situation even when it might be out of our control eg, a drink spill, missing a train, etc.
- We compare ourselves to others, which usually makes us feel worse about ourselves.
- We are never satisfied with our accomplishments and have incredibly high standards.
How To Respond To Your Self-Criticism
Identify your Strengths
Managing self-critical thoughts is not something that can be cured overnight. However, identifying and reminding yourself of your strengths can help you regain your confidence.
For example,
- “I am a good mother, father, daughter, son, friend, spouse, parent.”
- “I am a kind person.”
- “I feel empathy for others.”
- “I work hard.”
- “I never give up.”
- “I am learning how to be more kind to myself.”
- “I am doing the best that I can right now.”
Look for Evidence
Do you have good evidence to support your self-critical thought?
For example,
let’s say you didn’t do as well on your exam as you thought you would. You wanted an A-, but instead, you got a B+.
Do you have real evidence to tell yourself, “I did horribly, now I’m going to fail this class”? Most likely, the answer will be NO!
Remember, your mind often tells you lies.
Replace Self-Critical Thoughts
Once you’ve identified you don’t have evidence to support your self-critical thought, try replacing it with a more realistic one that is focused less on criticism and more on improvement.
For example,
“I didn’t do as well as I thought, but a B+ is still a decent mark. I still have many opportunities to do well in this class.”
Fight the Tough Thoughts
Some self-critical thoughts are harder to manage than others.
For example,
- “I am ugly.”
- “I’m not good enough for x.”
- “I am a terrible person.”
- “I will always be alone.”
- “I am a failure.”
For the above kind of thoughts, it may be helpful to think about whether they serve a real purpose for you. Do they help you achieve your goals, or do they make you feel worse about yourself?
Self-Compassion
When you have a self-critical thought, try thinking about how you would respond to a friend if they expressed this negative thought to you. Would you talk to a friend this way?
We often forget to be kind to ourselves and practice Self-Compassion. It may be helpful to change your inner dialogue from the first person to the third person, so it feels like you are responding to a friend.
Mindfulness
Practicing Mindfulness allows you to acknowledge self-critical thoughts as they appear without judgment, and then let go of those negative thoughts.
In practicing mindfulness, you will naturally learn to focus on the positive aspects of yourself. Mindfulness also helps us realize that we are all humans who are sometimes self-critical, which makes us feel less alone.
What are the effects of self-criticism on your mental health?
Self-criticism can allow you to acknowledge any mistakes and help you avoid them in the future, but it can also be damaging.
Constant waves of negative self-thoughts and nasty inner dialogues can impact your mental health. Even if others around you are respectful and kind, it matters how you treat yourself.
Here are a few ways that self-criticism can impact your mental health.
Your relationships with others
You may not mean to, but self-criticism impacts those around you when you only think and speak negative thoughts.
Your interpersonal relationships could feel strained because of it, and you may start to withdraw from your connections and mute your social life, causing you to feel lonely and isolated.
Worsen or cause eating disorders
When you have low self-esteem, you’re criticizing everything about yourself, including your appearance. Your self-perception is poor, and you obsess over any flaws you may think you have.
These thoughts can cause people to self-harm or take drastic measures to change their appearance. Disordered eating impacts both mental health and physical health.
Self-criticism can make you hyper-focused on how you look and think that you’re never going to be good enough.
It overwhelms you with guilt
You may feel guilty when you convince yourself you’ve failed at something.
Self-criticism can lead to comparing yourself to others, which often doesn’t end well.
As you look back on how your self-criticism and negative thoughts have stunted your personal growth, they can linger in your mind for too long.
Distracts you from progress and self-improvement
Self-criticism hinders our opportunities to improve ourselves because it fills us with self-doubt.
Constructive criticism is helpful and improves your personal growth. But your self-criticism will stand in your way while you try to improve yourself.
8 ways to overcome self-criticism
Each day, think of ways to be kinder to yourself. These small kindnesses may not change your life overnight, but with time you’ll see the power in your new habits.
Read these eight tips and think about the ones that you can start using today:
- Stop thinking that your self-criticism will motivate you to complete your work.
- List your favorite personal qualities and skills and think about how they can help you follow your passions.
- Talk with a psychotherapist about any trauma you’ve experienced.
- Let go of perfectionism and welcome mistakes.
- Think about what advice you’d give to a friend, but apply it to yourself.
- Have an equal balance of self-improvement and self-compassion.
- Be mindful of your thoughts, feelings, and reactions each day.
- Keep a journal of your progress and read it to practice self-gratitude.
If you’re intimidated to try to silence your inner critic, know that you don’t have to do it alone.
Conclusion
To conclude, self-criticism is a complex psychological construct that positively and negatively affects mental health.
While moderate self-criticism can help individuals improve their performance, excessive self-criticism can lead to negative consequences such as anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem.
The science behind self-criticism suggests that it is linked to various cognitive, emotional, and social processes that shape an individual’s self-concept and self-evaluation.
Overall, developing a healthy relationship with self-evaluation is crucial for maintaining good mental health and fostering personal growth.
